Funeral Etiquette

A funeral is an emotional time for a lost loved one’s family and friends. If you have been invited to attend a funeral, it is helpful to know proper funeral etiquette. Keep in mind that as culture has evolved, so have funerals and funeral etiquette. Traditional services are at times being replaced by more informal celebrations of life. So when no two services are identical, how do you know what etiquette is expected? Here are a few tips to help guide you in funeral service etiquette:

• Attend The Funeral. Don’t skip the funeral, even if you didn’t know the person who died directly. If your co-worker, friend, or family member loses someone they love, be sure to attend at least one of the funeral events, whether it’s a visitation, wake or funeral service. Funerals are for the living, not the deceased, and your presence at the funeral is more important than you know.
• Be on Time. Funerals start on time, so arriving a little early is important. Try to arrive 15 to 10 minutes early so that you can sign the register book and be seated when the funeral starts. If you arrive late, a funeral attendant can generally show you where to be seated.
• Talk about the Deceased. During a visitation, it’s fine to catch up with friends and family that you haven’t seen in a while, but always be sensitive of the circumstances. If you sense the conversation is drifting too much or is getting too boisterous for the family, bring it back around to remembering the deceased. Those who are in pain and closest to the one who died will appreciate your consideration.
• Express Your Sympathy. It can be difficult to find the words to comfort those who are suffering a loss. Whether you are directly speaking to an individual or writing a note of condolence, it is important to consider the feelings of the bereaved before offering words of sympathy. You may have good intentions, but some phrases may actually hurt the griever more than they provide comfort. To ensure you respect a grieving friend or loved one, study up on what is appropriate to say. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” may be all that needs to be said.

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